What past friends can tell you about meeting new friends.

You can meet new friends by looking at how you made some of your favorite friendships. Read more below & download the free questionnaire so you can get started today!

Just before the pandemic, we moved to a new city where we had ZERO friends or family. I didn’t do a bunch to meet people immediately because I was settling in and getting a feel for the city. Exploring by myself was fine for a while. After a few months, my priorities shifted.

How do I find friends in this new city when I don’t work, I don’t go to church and we are in lockdown because of a global pandemic.

I started thinking about how have I met my favorite friend relationship and what can that tell me about how to make more. Sort of reverse engineering how to find friends and build the support system I wanted. This isn’t my first rodeo. I have made 5 major moves or life changes that have required making new friends. I have succeeded every time. This time felt more daunting.

The majority of my previous friends come from one common spot, work.

I spent decades in retail and it is one of the best ways to meet people with similar interests. Especially, if you work at a store that sells some of your favorite items. My friends came from Crate & Barrel and Trader Joe’s. Cooking and entertaining are some of my favorite hobbies so it was a perfect match. Since there is always a bunch of down time to chat and get to know people it is a perfect spot for no-pressure friend-making.

I am a stay-at-home mom with no plans on getting a job so work wasn’t going to help me in this new city.

I started thinking about the friends I have that didn’t come from work. First, my longest friend. We meet as teenagers at our church youth group. She was new to town and I wanted to make sure she felt welcome and settled into her new town. As we talked frequently we realized we had a lot in common and have been friends ever since. Still not a good option for meeting new friends since I am not a teenager and no longer attend church.

My most recent new friend that didn’t come from work was a neighbor I met walking the dog.

Which finally gave me something to go on for meeting new friends. I went back over in my mind how we went from passing each other on the street to being friends. It took months of intentional planning. Putting ourselves out there and inviting this couple into our lives. Making a point to have longer conversations when we passed walking the dogs. Making plans to do things together.

The big takeaway is that intention and vulnerability are the keys to new friends.

After a year of meeting and cultivating friendships in my new neighborhood, I have added more than a couple of friends. If they become long-time friends or just-right-now friends only time will tell. But in a city where I knew no one and in the midst of a pandemic I am putting it in the win column. These people provide me joy and connection which was what I needed to get through the pandemic.

Even without work, I am able to make new friends in any new spot or time in my life.

See how easy that was to walk through to help me get ideas on where to find new friends? Maybe you have some even easier ways to find friends in your past. 

Download the questionnaire to help you find a place to make your next friends.