Why this mission of intentional kindness and community is important to me

In high school, I was pretty sure there was something wrong with me.

My phone didn’t ring much. No one was calling to hang out with me.  I felt like I always had to make the first call and initiate the plans. It felt lonely and isolating. I took to reading, a lot of reading. In between, I moped and felt sorry for myself.

I began to feel very strongly that others should be seen and cared for by friends the way I wished I was.

Now I don’t know if these strong empathy muscles were always there or were something I developed in reaction to how I felt as a teenager. I suppose it doesn’t really matter how or why l learned to treat others as I wanted to be treated. It is only important that I did.

I feel strongly about showing others how to build this skill. Yes, I believe it is a skill, not a trait.

Back to my path, I swore I wouldn’t go to college with those kids so I went out of state. I was so eager to leave I applied for early acceptance and before most kids had filed out any applications I had an acceptance letter in hand.

Not much about that year went as I planned.

I left that school after one year and started all over again at a university closer to home. I knew I wanted out of the midwest after graduation. So again, I moved and started all over again. This time from Indiana to the Bay Area with one friend, no job, and no money. After a 10 year relationship, I found myself on the outside of a friend group and moved again to find a new start.

That is 4 opportunities for all new friends in a 15-year window, in case you keeping count.

I eventually got married and we moved from California to Indiana. No jobs, one friend, and living with my parents. Starting all over again! We bought a house, welcomed a daughter, and almost exactly 5 years after we moved to Indiana we left for Michigan. We arrived in Michigan, September 2019. Full of hope and ideas of how it would be to make new friends and set down new roots but once again starting all over with no community. Then COVID.

That is 2 more opportunities for all new friends in a short 5-year window and a pandemic.

The thing in common with all of these moves and changes is every move has brought fun new friendships. Friendships I proudly found and nurtured. Relationships that in some cases shaped who I am. Connections that were the tipping point to meeting my husband.  Every relationship was important and a lesson to learn in its own special way. Not bad for how my teenage years started.

In every place and time of my life, I have enjoyed a strong community.

Some of those people are still good friends. Some were great for that time and space. Sometimes I was better about nurturing. Other times I learned hard lessons about what it means to be a friend and how much intention that takes.

What I believe for me, and for you, is that in every place and time there are people waiting to meet their people.

You can find yours. You can do it while being your true self, not some version of yourself.

They are out there looking for you too if you know what you are looking for, where to find them and how to keep them.

I want to be able to help you have the same success I have had. I have lots of lessons and support to help you as you create the community you crave. Whether you are moving to a new spot, starting a new stage of your life.

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